2014.13

MOTHER AND CHILD // DANA AL RASHID

-1-

The mother gives birth to her beautiful child. She already loves and knows it very well, for not too long ago, they were one. As it is helpless and vulnerable, she devotes the whole lot of her time in caring for it in its first few years. It becomes the source of her happiness, and “occasional” pain, exactly the way she becomes to it. She loves her dear child so much that she wants to protect it from this cold harsh world, back into her womb, but she knows better. The child makes silly mistakes out of impulse, but mother knows that it is still a child, who needs patience and tolerance to grow lovingly.

-2-

The child grows into youth, and yearns to experience life through its natural way of trial and error. Mother knows best, and so she warns and advises him about the dangers of the outside world. Youth feels controlled and smothered. He is no longer a child, and he is able to think and decide for himself. However, he is still making silly mistakes out of impulse and naivety. And so, he sets out to experience the world, mother knows best, and so she lets him go, even though it is very painful. She knows that if she shelters him -out of love- he will not grow, and he will grow resentful of her. She is hurt that he didn’t listen to her, despite all the years of continuous love and care she gave, but she knows better. She knows that her love is unconditional, and so she cannot own him, nor can she expect him to be as she pleases as an exchange for her love. She also knows that in order to grow, hearts must be split wide open with the axe of life. Or is it the harvesting sickle of death?

-3-

The youth sets out in his adventures; some are filled with success, which make him happy and proud. Others, not so much. His heart breaks, and part of him dies, he remembers his mother’s advice. He is in great pain that he has no experience in dealing with, for he, like Persephone, has been raped by life.

He realizes that the things and people he once wanted and chased so much were not as reliable or beautiful as they seemed in his eyes, in fact, they were hurtful and sinister. And so, he goes back to his mother to be soothed, completing a full cycle and becoming one with her once again. The mother welcomes him with arms wide open. She is forgiving beyond her rage that he left her, for she knew this day would come.

He is not remorseful for his experience, for he sees many of his peers still tied to their mothers by the umbilical cord well into adulthood, embittered yet too bound and comfortable to grow up.

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Both mother and -former- child learn a great deal from this experience. Mother learns to let go without expectation, and to polish her love to be as unconditional as it can be. In releasing, her son was growing to come back to her with more riches. In her solitude, she learnt to channel her creative gifts in different and productive ways, rather than having her life revolve around another person, no matter how dear.

Youth learns to deeply appreciate the reliable and loving anchor that his mother is. He realizes that there is wisdom in her advice, and perhaps he shouldn’t act on impulse all the time to save himself some pain, because things are not what they seem, especially to young eyes. He learns to give back love and care to her out of gratitude, not guilt. For we see all too many mothers emotionally blackmailing their children into doing as they please, and children either serve long years with resentment, or backfire into ruthlessness and never coming back. They can “leave” mentally even if they are in the same house.

The youth once again sets out into his adventures, but this time with much greater insight from both parties, into an upward spiral of development. In fact, there are two adventures, that of the youth (exterior masculine) and that of the mother (internal feminine), but we often overlook the roots which keep the tree alive.

-End-

Mother and child is the first and most intimate relationship humans -amongst other creatures- experience. It is of extreme importance because our survival was once entirely dependent on the mother. The bond of mother and child is so sacred there’s an entire religion that revolves around it! And so, it shapes the face of our future relationships and more; it shapes our psyche. We duplicate this very relationship pattern in our friendships, love interests and marriage, especially if not aware.

After reading the little eternal tale above, ask yourself which role you normally play; are you usually mother or child? of course, We may switch from mother to child in our relationships,but there’s usually a dominant role we like to take. Patterns you have learnt from your own personal mother-child tale will inevitably show up, but it makes a world of difference to be aware and know where they came from.

It’s also worth mentioning that mother and child is another module or name -if you may call it- for the yin and yang duality. Therefore, within each mother is her child, and within each child is his mother.

This is the tale of all tales, and not only does it symbolize our relationship patterns. On a wider spectrum, it symbolizes our journey from life to death, with all of our little adventures unfolding  within.