what is a ‘couch moment’ ?
many moons ago in the city of Haifa the couch moment was born when two washed out girls found themselves trapped in shitty conversation with a third party till the early hours of the morning. a couch moment is basically a moment when a person has no idea when it’s the appropriate time to leave a situation: whether it be a party or one-on-one hangout. you are stuck in conversation with this person. typically this character excessively talks at you, not picking up on social cues that it’s time to shut the fuck up, while you mutter things like “nice” or “interesting” or “damn.” the person creating a couch moment tends to become inappropriately deep in his conversation, oversharing, and never tiring. common side effects of experiencing a couch moment include: entering a black hole, fake yawning, feelings of utter disgust and hatred. this doesn’t necessarily have to happen on a couch (although it frequently does).
how is a ‘couch moment’ created ?
it’s created by a person who is too fucked up and thinks everyone else is on their level and having a really good time. to be the person trapped in conversation with the person committing a couch moment is truly a trauma-inducing experience.
how do you get out of a ‘couch moment’ experience ?
you can choose to fall asleep (fake it or really sleep). you can make sure you aren’t the last person stuck sitting with them. pressure your friend to do something to make the person shut the fuck up - stare at them while the ‘couch moment creator’ is too fucked up to notice, say ‘couch moment’ out loud, or send your suffering friend(s) secret messages. unfortunately you usually just have to suffer.