Now, I don't remember much
about the movie itself but I can still picture
his excitement as the opening crawl came up
and how focused he was on not missing a word
that he didn't care about the popcorn being spilled
or the mess he made because in that moment
he was nine years old too.

I wonder where all that excitement went.
I wonder when was the last time he was in complete awe of something.

Yet, there are days where I can still see flashes
of the person he used to be.

Days when he used to carry us over his shoulders
not letting us down till laughter escaped our throats

Does he remember any of that?
Does the cinema closing down where he took
us to watch all those movies means something?
Does the accident and the new car mean something?

I've spent years trying to make sense of this

and I think I know now
I think it was her
I think she wrecked him
and I have never been more ashamed of my name